All our lives long, every day and every hour we are engaged in the process of accommodating our changed and unchanged selves to changed and unchanged surroundings; living, in fact, is nothing less than this process of accommodation; when we fail in it a little we are stupid, when we fail flagrantly we are mad, when we suspend it temporarily we sleep, when we give up the attempt altogether we die.-Samuel Butler

Fear, Criticism, Blame, Guilt and Resentment are more problematic than any other feeling.

You can learn a bit about a person from looking into their past history. Then again what’s most important is what’s currently going on with them.

In short, the pain, hurts and sorrow wasn’t you anyway. You have been on a life’s journey which is always unveiling who you are. Your experiences or beliefs are just beliefs. Beliefs are simply thoughts you think repeatedly. That’s about all they are. The past experiences and situations you dealt with were just schools you went through.

Without pointing the finger, take a moment to physically open your arms to the concept that lessons were there for you to grasp. Visualize you allowing the lessons to come to the surface in a peaceful way. Then say “I am ready to learn my lessons and I’m ready to move on.” 

You can learn much about someone by looking at what they have learned in life. To learn a lesson about blame, shame, criticism, guilt and fear you should see them for what they are.

These emotions often associated with the past.

The mostly longstanding tension  people often feel from various experiences is a pattern or a habit. The feelings come from our perceptions of how things took place. We can have a positive feeling or a negative feeling about situations, people and circumstances.

So many that I’ve worked with have said that they weren’t good enough. They don’t like the thoughts they feel about themselves. The thoughts they take with them carry a message of why the world is responding the way it does to them.

You can change your story by changing the quality of thoughts you hold on to.  Every single bit of Your power is in the present! 

 The choice is yours to make.

It becomes a threat to one’s health to harbor feelings of hurt and disappointments.

Action: Look at the thoughts and the words associated with them. As you read through the definitions of these adverse feelings think of your own thoughts for a moment and write down any insights that come to you into your journal. 

FEAR

• the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.
• “she could observe the other guests without too much fear of attracting attention”
• unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

CRITICISM

• the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.
• “he received a lot of criticism”
• condemnation, denunciation, disapproval, faultfinding, attack.

BLAME

• assign responsibility for a fault or wrong.
• “the inquiry blamed the engineer for the accident”
• hold responsible, hold accountable, condemn,  accuse, consider guilty, assign fault, indict, point the finger at, finger, incriminate.

RESENTMENT

• A resentment is a recurring anger. Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly,
  • reliving all the particulars around this situation, with ongoing anger, hate and or pain.
• “his success led to resentment from critics”
• bitterness, indignation, irritation, dissatisfaction, discontentment, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill will, animosity, envy, jealousy.

GUILT 

• The fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.
• a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.
• “he remembered with sudden guilt the letter from his mother that he had not yet read”

Your journey may have been long. Still you made it through.

The root of all hurts and triumphs is our thoughts. The habitual thoughts you’ve been carrying with you can be changed. The lessons are awaiting you so that you can move forward.

We Have To Forgive To Move Forward and We Must Forgive To Release the Past

All ailments come from holding onto some belief. We can obtain increased wellbeing by practicing forgiveness. Too many people have our power. We all deserve to have all of our personal power. Claim the power you were once born with by forgiving all those who you feel trespassed against you. Why should you forgive?

Earth and its inhabitants have been conditioned since the dawn of time. There are movies, television shows, People do what they do many times without thought for how it will affect another person. As you may have heard before, ‘Hurt people, hurt people.’ 

Sound backwards that people who hurt would not learn from being hurt that being hurt doesn’t feel good. One would assume people who hurt others in anyway are mean folks who have no heart at all.

So many clients have worked with me and they were hurt themselves. Some of those people went out and hurt others. There were others who decided they wouldn’t intentionally hurt another then they hurt people mistakenly thinking they had played it safe. 

People are conditioned and need to be healed. The only way the cycle of hurt can be healed is by taking strides towards forgiving the other and yourself as well. A decision to forgive is a tremendous place to start.

To start the forgiveness process repeat this mantra:

I forgive all that doesn’t serve me. I allow the good stuff to flow to me. I choose to live the good life. I deserve to be happy. I am grateful for the past and this moment. I release everyone including me from blame. All is well.

This Mantra sets you free to live a new life story.